Peace

Peace
thats what Im feeling now

peace... just all around
floating in the silence

its silent even with my sweet music

wish someone else was alive at this time though

---------------------------------------

damn
hey I didnt know it wasnt easy
to say something to her face

8.0 to 8.5

guess thats what it does

Life on the couch

Wow
Had another 'talk-cock' session with my dad
always charges me up for life
sort of rejuvenating my love for life
talked up till 2

Well, life on the couch
I love the discomfort
and the fact that when the sun rises
and all that warmth splashes on your face
So you'll just wake

I like it


When to church for the first time that I remember
I already have my own perspective on things though

Im sleeping on the couch again

Test me

Damn
the day's been so lazy
5 hours nap didn't help
so its kinda like decaying

but I've made up my mind
I should go

test me

Wicked Smile

My eyes are getting muscular
My eyes are getting muscular
My eyes are getting muscular

and I can't believe it

I stood there and I was like
'oh my god'


wicked smile...

Life is love

Everything is you
You are love
Life is love

--------------------------------------------------

If we want to
rather than need to
thank
or beg for your mercy

then its much stronger

because we never needed to in the first place


I went for mass today
because I wanted to thank you
well, formally i guess
for everything you didn't need gratitude for


learning more about
what people from this religion believe
we need to destroy and rebuild the foundations of our beliefs to make it stronger

-----------------------------------------------------


They're impressed with me?
I can't believe it
I always thought that my officers think I have the will but not the ability

so what if I get the best sec 4 cadet recognition next year

hmmm
we'll just leave it at that

Seven

I should have been elsewhere

Sitting here

laughing at my ideas
they are good ideas
but they just require more balls to be executed

getting myself mixed
and confused over what I saw

Ill rate her a 6 to a 6.5
on the EEIS
omg
EEIS

staring at my 'game log'


I should have been elsewhere
but I don't know

though my arms are still aching over yesterday
100 push-ups
20 one-armed


The haze was down this afternoon
but I didnt go down

still not too sure why

Heart of brick

Yesterday was party night

I multi-tasked till it never ends

------------------------------------------

English 71
Chinese 66
E-Math 72
A-Math 81
History Elective 74
Full Geography 78
Chemistry 70
Physics 75
Biology 70

Average Percentage 73
L1R5 9


Im proud for one
because im happy

I worked my ass off

and for the first time
I think I deserve this


they shouldnt be mad

forgive me
but I find stupidity
in anger and disappointment
for those who didnt prepare
and flunked

------------------------------------------

Today in training

ash and stone
a heart of brick

i want to think it was a success

If I wasnt restrained
by the meeting with my officer
or the kindness of my specialists
or my slight cold

I would like to see how far they can go
before I break them

they're still too soft

I can see the disdain in their eyes
when they look at me
how they get all worried
about everything
even though there is no need to
probably afraid that these razor eyes
would catch anything out of line

my line




and screw his words
sneaky bastards cant mean anything to me

Backed out???

I would drink myself drunk
if I could

I would keep hitting my head
if it didn't hurt

but
whats the point then



o well
when my skies are so clear now
its hard to find a point

so much out of this peace

peace
this morning was full

shooting hoops at 730
well I enjoyed it


and havent done my 'log'
see
I dont feel like it



heh
backed out???

at least I can afford this

I hate mood swings
I really do

and I hate throwing the blame
all over

maybe its more than some low swing


heh
but I'll say I'm bored once this is over


my head feels like its been kicked open
spread all over the floor
just left there to bleed

at least I can afford this

Let me pull this off

Why am I running away

I'll bet its because I'm scared

afraid


well I know I shouldnt be
and I wish I wasnt



so I can't spill like what I did before
because of her eyes



Let me pull this off

I've missed 3 mornings

I've missed 3 mornings

lost



and in boredom
I've spawned a game log
'The Game' log


Ive seen
Green poka-dots

look
as I've said
these are now no more than broken words

License to obsess

License to obsess
License to obsess
License to obsess

so what am I going to do about it

I'll create my own sparks

So this is it
no sparks
no fireworks

but my exams are over

but now I know
I'll create my own sparks


so 12 hours
12 hours

longest I've ever slept
since the longest time

and I get it now
its not because we need to
but because we want to

yes
I know I want to

because
I love you

I guess i'm not jumping

Yea
my tests end tomorow

but I guess im not jumping
or getting too happy

because I'm afraid

yes I'm afraid


I'm afraid that I'm not going to live up to what I have planned
I'm afraid its still going to be the same after it all
after everything

nothing actually changes



because I'm so close now
and

what if nothing really changes
what if I wimp out
on what I think I want


haha thank you
but now the uncertainty's in my hands

and we'll see how this goes




oh I love you

The beauty that is you

The beauty of it all
how we struggle to cope with our lives

coz life never gets simpler
it gets more complicated
and that is how we learn as we go
as we grow

I mean looking at it
truly

as we make mistakes
and fall

so we suffer
and we struggle


The beauty of Life

you
everything
everything
everything

but mostly


The beauty that is you

Is it the food there

Is it the food there
or maybe just the air

but really
its amazing

With looks like that

Ill bet its not easy to think of something to say if she looks at you
---------------------------------------------------


I dont freakin look my age
I don't freakin look my age
I don't freakin look my age

Hazy eyes

Hazy eyes

Hazel hair

pink balls?
and I'll be going down

soon
very soon

Shiny Black

Shiny black
hanging over shoulders
not too neat
not too messy
never too perfect


why do these 'monsters' look better from behind?

--------------------------------------------------------------

I still can't believe you

really


The glow of translucent brown

the black reply 'um...... no'

banging my head
but maybe I tried

just not hard enough
hmm
no
not smart enough


Its still good
I can't lose experience


warming up
warming up
getting ready
still trying
still learning

Slit my wrist

For the first time in a long time
I'm actually having problems again

Politics in my head
Screaming out loud
the politics in my head



Courage
slipping from me

maybe lying just isn't my style


and tonight
all I wanted to do was play 'the game'
and to actually do what I didn't dare to

but I didnt


why

because I thought about it
and I've figured

after all those weeks
after all those months
after all that time
after everything

everything and all


Slit my wrist
but I'm not about to let go


I'm just not