Torn

This day.
Was incredibly significant.

For one... I found out that 2 more sec 3s from ncc land are marching in the Guard Of Honour contingent.
I know I feel selfish. But I really did not want them to.

Ever since my secondary school life began in SJI.
My passion was in ncc land.
I gave everything I could to ncc land.
It was everything to me in my sec school life.
and it still is.

You can say that its all that I've got.
I would.

My only compensation for that matter was being one of the 2 sec 3s marching in the G.O.H contingent.

but that was taken away.

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Today I realised something.
Changed my feelings.
Truly

When I arrived home.
Before I took my shower in the bathroom...
I stood there and I cried.

I cried.

It was clearly evident to me.
The great importance of a sec 4 trainer.
But what was clearer to me was who was undoubtedly the best for that post............
me.
Thats what I truly believe.
and from the honest opinions of those around me......

crystal.


The post I really want to uphold...... is not of that sort.
I want to be able to assist the csm in other matters of training.

I cried. because the sec4 trainer post was the post I have always dreaded.
I could never have imagined...
Now I'm Torn
I do not know what I want anymore.

I feel like the company needs me.

To think of all the effort I have put into my passion...
do I have the right to be this selfish?
do I have the right to get what I want?

The answers are cold.
Freezing...

I don't know anymore.



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Hello my friend,
we meet again
It's been awhile,
where should we begin?
Feels like forever

Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me,
I'm free
I'm careless,
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me,
I'm free
I'm careless,
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

When you are with me
I'm free
I'm careless,
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes

Cause when you are with me
I am free
I'm careless,
I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice,
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

My sacrifice

Creed: My Sacrifice