Found The Real
I've been going through some changes... and the roses had to fall off the bed in my life.
I once felt that I knew myself, understood me more than anything. It felt good.
But when I took a step back... and thought about it... I knew things could not stay the same.
Throughout this period... I truly felt something in me die... but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know I have changed.
Yesterday the information of prize winners were out.
Well, when I found out a week before that it would be between me and Thiaghu...
I knew then and there what yesterday's result was going to be.
Before yesterday, many came to me and asked if I would be the Company Sergeant Major.
Well, I told them that it was incredibly unlikely, that the odds were off the charts.
I could say it out to them to their face. I could tell them. But deep inside, I didn't believe myself, I couldn't belive what I had told them.
Sometimes I believe that he would be the better csm. but I still wanted it badly. I told Thiaghu about this and asked him if he thought that I was selfish... he told me that I wasn't, and that it was normal.
Yesterday morning before assembly, Thaghu and me walked to the board together and checked the award winners list.
It was no suprise.
There was a smile on my face and I congratulated him... deep down I knew they have made the right decision.
I knew I should be truly happy but It's really hard when you're this close.
I guess getting a plaque for winning the lassalian cadet award and being able to march in the Guard Of Honour contingent was a reasonable conpensation. Unlike some of the other UGs where 7 or ten plus sec 3s get to march in the GOH contingent... there are only 2 sec 3s for NCC land.
My dad talked to me about this whole thing... and well, I guess this is all good in growing up. Though my parents and some of my close friends were disappointed, I know that I should not be driven by anybody's expectations anymore, for the simple reason that there is no limit to people's expectations.
I know I have to move on...
I will
No matter how difficult
I once felt that I knew myself, understood me more than anything. It felt good.
But when I took a step back... and thought about it... I knew things could not stay the same.
Throughout this period... I truly felt something in me die... but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.
I know I have changed.
Yesterday the information of prize winners were out.
Well, when I found out a week before that it would be between me and Thiaghu...
I knew then and there what yesterday's result was going to be.
Before yesterday, many came to me and asked if I would be the Company Sergeant Major.
Well, I told them that it was incredibly unlikely, that the odds were off the charts.
I could say it out to them to their face. I could tell them. But deep inside, I didn't believe myself, I couldn't belive what I had told them.
Sometimes I believe that he would be the better csm. but I still wanted it badly. I told Thiaghu about this and asked him if he thought that I was selfish... he told me that I wasn't, and that it was normal.
Yesterday morning before assembly, Thaghu and me walked to the board together and checked the award winners list.
It was no suprise.
There was a smile on my face and I congratulated him... deep down I knew they have made the right decision.
I knew I should be truly happy but It's really hard when you're this close.
I guess getting a plaque for winning the lassalian cadet award and being able to march in the Guard Of Honour contingent was a reasonable conpensation. Unlike some of the other UGs where 7 or ten plus sec 3s get to march in the GOH contingent... there are only 2 sec 3s for NCC land.
My dad talked to me about this whole thing... and well, I guess this is all good in growing up. Though my parents and some of my close friends were disappointed, I know that I should not be driven by anybody's expectations anymore, for the simple reason that there is no limit to people's expectations.
I know I have to move on...
I will
No matter how difficult
posted by Lim at 9:10 PM
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