7.7.07

due to size of images please scroll down to view them






































































































































last year we took the responsibility of leading the company

if you cant find me Im the guy in white right in the middle


The big day












Making sure the Guard of Honour contingent is ready























The Singapore Flag flies over SJI





March Pass





Stepping down of our CSMs




Haha I look like crap after the parade from all that... ... rejoicing



















The Trophy that holds the name of two brothers

Its time

Please






Please dont say
The shine is lost from my eyes

Can you tell?
Its time I took my leave
and you can watch me fade away
but Id rather have you shut your eyes













































































Goodbye
























.

letter for far

Dearest,
I hesitated before doing this one. Now I just wanna say that I miss the times we spent together. Hanging out. I really do, and whenever I just think about it, I dont know I just feel carefree. and at the same time I just wonder how everyone is doing. I mean we're so far apart and everyone's busy with their own lives we hardly get to see each other. but when you came down last year, I was happy, like I remember the dinner when we just splurrred 80bucks. I swear Ive never paid for a meal more expensive than that. haha but I cherished every single moment of it. God, I really miss all those jokes, all those laughs, all those moments. Swear I loved them





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Cross Country

see I was stretching and this bozo here tried to kick me in between the legs

lol

no we're actually trying to strecth our legs not our faces

pictures from my dear friend edwin

letters never sent

Sweetie,
Last night, I dont know I was just thinking about you, about me, about us. I was thinking about the lies I made you believe, and those that I would be telling you. Do you even deserve this? treating you this way... Im not sure what you are to me anymore. I was just thinking and they say its wrong to use people, but thats how I feel about us now. You were my antithesis, almost every damn thing I stood against. The theory of the derailed train just seems so real. Why the guilt then? My head's hurting just thinking of all these questions I left unanswered. So is this who I really am without you? How many more lies? How many more because I know...
What I miss... isnt you

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My angel,
Now you never really got an apology from me. guess you pretty much know that its over. Im done with being so dumb, I mean to hate you? So self-centered you couldnt believe. But now I learn that at times, you need to look at things from perspectives beyong your own. and when I finally did. I understaood my foolishness.

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Hey,
Its embarrassing for me, really. But I dont know. It kinda also feels a teeny weeny lil bit weird for me to even do this. um. ok so we were always close now weren't we. you're one of the few people I can trust. and um lean on. Its vice versa, we're more than friends. duh.

you make me sick

and Ive decided
Im going to hate you

Whenever I see your face
I want to vomit

Whenever I hear your voice
I want to rip my ears off

You
Make
Me
Sick


sick right down to my stomach
and I cant take it anymore

so go away
my O level examination is in 2 weeks
yes go away you're no help at all


but the funny thing about this is
I know your love for me is unconditional

well


Im not that sure about mine

hmmmm

ok so Ive been sitting here for the last 10 minutes
thinking
because I just dont know
if I should feel sorry now or wonder why im taking all this shit

did you know on thursday
I couldnt speak more than 10 words during recess
did you know
I actually had lunch by myself in someplace
did you know
I stayed there for more than an hour. yes by myself

so please dont give me your 'dont tell me it wont affect you bla bla BLA BLA' crap

look
look
see it actually AFFECTED ME
wow
can you tell?
I was an emotional wreck

I was hurt

by my you and everyone else in this family
and I wasnt really mad at any of you
I knew that you were right and all that fucking bullshit
thats why I dont blame anyone for all of the crap I was feeling

so I didnt do my homework for a few days
yea BIG DEAL
had no mood to do whatever it is the f*** I had to

I made a promise to myself
by the end of the weekend
I would pick myself up and everything would be normal again
Id be a better person




2 weeks ago I told my tuition teacher to stop for one week because I had my midyears, and because the chinese paper was over.

so theres supposed to be lesson today but there was a misunderstanding he thought our lessons resumed only next week from now.

yea sorry Im so distracted
so distracted that I didnt message him to confirm that there was supposed to be lessons today when I OBVIOUSLY KNEW THERE WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING
yea i mean I OBVIOUSLY KNEW he didnt know there was supposed to be lessons and im so distracted that I didnt do anything about it
im so sorry

yea im so sorry for arranging a make up lesson this thursday
and technically not missing a tuition session
see im sorry ok

heck im sorry for even being distracted at all
how bout that?

im so sorry that i didnt do all of his 3 essays and 4 comprehension passages for homework
yea im like perfectly mentally and emotionally sound and therefore there was absolutely no reason at all for me not completing every single one of his assignments


oh and I also have to apologise for trying my best to control my feelings these past few days
Im sorry that im trying to cope with everything
Im just so sorry that Ive planned to not be affected anymore on monday and put my O level chinese as my first priority

maybe ill just go to school tomorrow and be all like menopause this time
sounds fun?




yea so y'see im still not very sure if I should feel sorry
or wonder why you have to put me through just soooo muuuuccchhhhhhhh crap

are you ok

'why you look so pissed?'

I shrug and shake my head

'why so sad?'

'you know every once a month, this natural magical phenomena takes place'

'huh?'

'Im having menstrual cramps, and last night was my first time, so I stayed up until 4 to learn how to cope with it'

'are you ok?'

shakes head

'do you want to take blue form and go home?'

shakes head

'are you ok? you look like you're in pain'

'i do? cool'


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thanks for being there for me now

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but Im losing it
asking myself a question never hurt this much
but I need to

wasnt this what you wanted
wasnt this what you wanted
wasnt this what you wanted
wasnt this what you wanted